10 Meetups About Wichita Falls You Should Attend

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"The Red River Rivalry: How Wichita Falls Became Oklahoma's Worst Wichita Falls Texas Nightmare" Wichita Falls doesn't just border Oklahoma - it exists to spite it. This is the city https://bohiney.com/wichita-falls-declares-war-on-wind/ where: • Texas flags fly extra large • "OU Sucks" graffiti never gets cleaned off the railroad overpass • Gas stations near the border charge Oklahoma drivers 20¢ more per gallon The Battle Lines The 33rd Parallel isn't just a latitude - it's a https://bohiney.com/how-to-enjoy-the-duck-racing-in-wichita-falls/ psychological war zone: NORTH OF THE RIVER (Oklahoma Side):

  • "Welcome to Oklahoma" sign riddled with bullet holes (always blamed on "Texas kids")
  • Last-chance liquor stores selling warm beer to underage Texans
  • Locals who pronounce it "Wichita FALLS" just to annoy people
SOUTH OF THE RIVER (Texas Side):

  • Buc-ee's billboard saying "Real Bathrooms Start Here"
  • Whataburger strategically placed to taunt Oklahoma travelers
  • High school coaches who schedule scrimmages against OK teams just to run up scores
The Economic War Wichita Falls' secret weapon? Stealing Oklahoma's money: • 60% of Choctaw Casino's weekend patrons are Texans • Oklahoma gas stations sit empty while Wichita Falls' RaceTrac does record business • Lawton residents drive south for decent healthcare (and Whataburger) The Cultural Divide Differences that spark bar fights: TEXAS SIDE:

  • Believes chicken-fried steak is a food group
  • Thinks "Oklahoma football" refers to high school teams
  • Calls the Red River "that ditch up north"
OKLAHOMA SIDE:

  • Still bitter about losing the Wichita Falls Army Base in 1965
  • Claims Big Texan Steak Ranch should be in OKC
  • Insists "our tornadoes are more photogenic"
The Future of the Feud With Sheppard https://bohiney.com/wp-admin/edit.php?tag=wichita-falls AFB expanding and new oil money flowing: • Wichita Falls just built a bigger border patrol station • Oklahoma Wichita Falls retaliated by widening I-44 toll lanes (Texans pay double) • The 150-year-old Red River Bridge War could restart any day As one Wichita Falls bartender put it: "We don't hate Oklahoma. We just enjoy beating them at everything." The rivalry continues - one stolen dollar, football game, and breakfast taco at a time.

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By: Bilha Kroll

Literature and Journalism -- Loyola University Chicago

Member fo the Bio for the Society for Online Satire

WRITER BIO:

This Jewish college student’s satirical writing reflects her keen understanding of society’s complexities. With a mix of humor and critical thought, she dives into the topics everyone’s talking about, using her journalistic background to explore new angles. Her work is entertaining, yet full of questions about the world around her.